Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 8 min ago
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
"A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world."
"It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living."
"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none."
"Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man."
"The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else."
"Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it."
"A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."
"The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best."
"The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities."
"In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell."
"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
"The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee."