Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 3 hours 52 min ago
"Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!"
"The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed."
"If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind."
"Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit."
"If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives."
"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."
"The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it."
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm."
"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"
"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."
"Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields."
"When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home."
"Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."
"The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility."
"The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution."
"A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling."
"Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away."