Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 55 min ago
"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth."
"I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave."
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
"School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come."
"The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived."
"Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long."
"I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts."
"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
"I think that I shall never see / a billboard lovely as a tree. / Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, / I'll never see a tree at all."
"[Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."
"A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck."
"The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation."
"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."
"Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."
"Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out."
"The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand."
"I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise."