Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 9 hours 54 min ago
"In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning."
"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work."
"Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies."
"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
"The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood."
"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."
"The only thing that's been a worse flop than the organization of non-violence has been the organization of violence."
"I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. "
"It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them."
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
"Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club."
"I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'"
"When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision."
"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."