Quotes of the Day

Syndicate content Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 1 hour 57 min ago

Ellen DeGeneres

Tue, 07/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mary Wilson Little

Tue, 07/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Cary Grant

Tue, 07/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"I improve on misquotation."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sir Winston Churchill

Tue, 07/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Goldman

Mon, 07/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

Mon, 07/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Unknown

Mon, 07/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"Oh, come on. If you can't laugh at the walking dead, who can you laugh at?"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dick Cavett

Mon, 07/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Miguel de Cervantes

Sun, 07/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"Facts are the enemy of truth."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Jennings Bryan

Sun, 07/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fran Lebowitz

Sun, 07/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Kin Hubbard

Sun, 07/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Feather

Sat, 07/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as the silly extravagances of the poor."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Samuel Butler

Sat, 07/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on."
Categories: Fun Stuff

M. Cartmill

Sat, 07/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Paula Poundstone

Sat, 07/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Green

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 7:00pm
"The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two houses."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robertson Davies

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 7:00pm
"To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Albert Einstein

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 7:00pm
"Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Blake

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 7:00pm
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
Categories: Fun Stuff