Boreal Access

"Never tell anyone that you're writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death."

"Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things."

"Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record."

"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"What luck for rulers that men do not think."

"There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience."

"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."

"Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another."

"Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy."

"God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project."

"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."

"Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view."

"Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts."

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."

"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future."

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

"The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can."

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."