Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 6 min ago
"Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later."
"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough"
"Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it."
"The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments."
"You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave."
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
"Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity than they really are."
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
"Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead."
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
"Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying."
"Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it."
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."
"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."