Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 9 hours 22 min ago
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
"Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."
"Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds."
"There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class."
"He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks."
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."
"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."
"An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it."
"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
"An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living."
"Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything."
"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."
"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
"Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke."