Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 1 hour 43 min ago
"My marriage had its ups and downs like anyone's, but when it came down to it, I knew it was solid. I miss that sort of security, and that sort of connection with someone."
"There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey."
"Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning."
"The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking."
"We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential. Hence the fact that many inventions had their birth as toys."
"I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient."
"About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment."
"Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it."
"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything."
"I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave."
"Mothers may still want their sons to grow up to be President, but according to a famous Gallup poll of some years ago, some 73 percent do not want them to become politicians in the process."
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."
"When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."