Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 16 min ago
"The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation."
"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided."
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim"."
"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat."
"Nothing is more characteristic of a man than the mann in which he behaves toward fools."
"The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed."
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this."
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."
"It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."