Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 5 hours 15 min ago
"I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly."
"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work."
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
"Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage."
"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them."
"Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down."
"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain."
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
"Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic."
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
"To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent."
"I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer."
"A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time."
"I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS."