Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 1 hour 33 min ago
"Mothers may still want their sons to grow up to be President, but according to a famous Gallup poll of some years ago, some 73 percent do not want them to become politicians in the process."
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."
"When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
"I don't care what it is, when it has an LCD screen, it makes it better."
"Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody."
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
"I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure."
"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to."
"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did."