Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 9 hours 17 min ago

Samuel Johnson

Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Burns

Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Tom Masson

Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sir William Bragg

Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday."
Categories: Fun Stuff

e e cummings

Thu, 09/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Katharine Whitehorn

Thu, 09/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Joe Ancis

Thu, 09/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Euripides

Thu, 09/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wed, 09/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Erma Bombeck

Wed, 09/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Garry Shandling

Wed, 09/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know."
Categories: Fun Stuff

G. K. Chesterton

Wed, 09/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Wanamaker

Tue, 09/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Christopher Morley

Tue, 09/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bertrand Russell

Tue, 09/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jean Kerr

Tue, 09/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"
Categories: Fun Stuff

David Coblitz

Mon, 09/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Isaac Newton

Mon, 09/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Bakker

Mon, 09/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dick Cavett

Mon, 09/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear."
Categories: Fun Stuff