Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 10 hours 46 min ago
"There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses."
"I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left."
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
"The more things change, the more they remain... insane."
"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth."
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know."
"I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it."
"What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay."
"He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."
"Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it."
"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
"People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news."
"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."