Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 1 hour 33 min ago

John F. Kennedy

Sat, 08/23/2014 - 7:00pm
"Mothers may still want their sons to grow up to be President, but according to a famous Gallup poll of some years ago, some 73 percent do not want them to become politicians in the process."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Scott Adams

Sat, 08/23/2014 - 7:00pm
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Sat, 08/23/2014 - 7:00pm
"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
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Woodrow Wilson

Sat, 08/23/2014 - 7:00pm
"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."
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George Bernard Shaw

Fri, 08/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."
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Tom Lehrer

Fri, 08/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
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Alfred Hitchcock

Fri, 08/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out."
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Edgar Bergen

Fri, 08/22/2014 - 7:00pm
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
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Kevin Rose

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"I don't care what it is, when it has an LCD screen, it makes it better."
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Franklin P. Adams

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody."
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Kin Hubbard

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them."
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Noel Coward

Thu, 08/21/2014 - 7:00pm
"The higher the buildings, the lower the morals."
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John Kenneth Galbraith

Wed, 08/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
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Samuel Goldwyn

Wed, 08/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"You've got to take the bitter with the sour."
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John D. Rockefeller

Wed, 08/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure."
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Dave Barry

Wed, 08/20/2014 - 7:00pm
"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to."
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Albert Einstein

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
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W. C. Fields

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Richard Diran

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Benchley

Tue, 08/19/2014 - 7:00pm
"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did."
Categories: Fun Stuff