Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 5 hours 15 min ago

G. K. Chesterton

Fri, 12/02/2016 - 6:00pm
"There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read."
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Blake Clark

Fri, 12/02/2016 - 6:00pm
"Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision."
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Calvin Trillin

Fri, 12/02/2016 - 6:00pm
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
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Elbert Hubbard

Fri, 12/02/2016 - 6:00pm
"Life is just one damned thing after another."
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Douglas Adams

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 6:00pm
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."
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George Bernard Shaw

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 6:00pm
"Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
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Sir Winston Churchill

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 6:00pm
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
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W. Somerset Maugham

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 6:00pm
"She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit."
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Sidney J. Harris

Wed, 11/30/2016 - 6:00pm
"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future."
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Umberto Eco

Wed, 11/30/2016 - 6:00pm
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."
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August Strindberg

Wed, 11/30/2016 - 6:00pm
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
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Irv Kupcinet

Wed, 11/30/2016 - 6:00pm
"What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?"
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Tom Stoppard

Tue, 11/29/2016 - 6:00pm
"We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."
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Dave Barry

Tue, 11/29/2016 - 6:00pm
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
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Barbara Bush

Tue, 11/29/2016 - 6:00pm
"War is not nice."
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James Thurber

Tue, 11/29/2016 - 6:00pm
"There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else."
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Fran Lebowitz

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 6:00pm
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."
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Charles M. Schulz

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 6:00pm
"No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it."
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Lily Tomlin

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 6:00pm
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
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Nancy Reagan

Mon, 11/28/2016 - 6:00pm
"I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."
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