Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 24 min ago
"The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed."
"They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum."
"It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power."
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
"Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves."
"Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange."
"When love is gone, there's always justice./ And when justice is gone, there's always force./ And when force is gone, there's always Mom./ Hi, Mom!"
"I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses."
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
"The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends."
"The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking."
"Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery."
"Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you."
"Seeing ourselves as others would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them."
"Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."