Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 16 min ago

Benjamin Disraeli

Fri, 05/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Daphne du Maurier

Fri, 05/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Isaac Asimov

Fri, 05/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Thomas A. Edison

Fri, 05/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Casey Stengel

Thu, 05/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided."
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Will Durant

Thu, 05/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
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Galileo Galilei

Thu, 05/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ambrose Bierce

Thu, 05/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
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Thomas Mann

Wed, 05/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself."
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Lyndon B. Johnson

Wed, 05/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim"."
Categories: Fun Stuff

National Lampoon

Wed, 05/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"Let not the sands of time get in your lunch."
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Sir Julian Huxley

Wed, 05/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat."
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Henri-Fr�d�ric Amiel

Tue, 05/17/2016 - 7:00pm
"Nothing is more characteristic of a man than the mann in which he behaves toward fools."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ellen DeGeneres

Tue, 05/17/2016 - 7:00pm
"The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Henny Youngman

Tue, 05/17/2016 - 7:00pm
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Rogers

Tue, 05/17/2016 - 7:00pm
"See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?"
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Bertrand Russell

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 7:00pm
"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this."
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Andrew S. Tanenbaum

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 7:00pm
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
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Stephen Leacock

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 7:00pm
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jerome K. Jerome

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 7:00pm
"It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."
Categories: Fun Stuff