Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 5 hours 15 min ago
"There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read."
"Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision."
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."
"Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit."
"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future."
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
"What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?"
"We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
"No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it."
"I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."