Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 31 min ago

David Shore

Fri, 04/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team". There is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fran Lebowitz

Fri, 04/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Laurence J. Peter

Fri, 04/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Anthony Burgess

Fri, 04/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
Categories: Fun Stuff

W. H. Thompson

Thu, 04/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"We are none of us infallible--not even the youngest of us."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Ruskin

Thu, 04/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. Mumford Jones

Thu, 04/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ambrose Bierce

Thu, 04/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Thomas Fuller

Wed, 04/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Many would be cowards if they had courage enough."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bertrand Russell

Wed, 04/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Doug Larson

Wed, 04/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Vilhjalmur Stefansson

Wed, 04/20/2016 - 7:00pm
"What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mickey Mantle

Tue, 04/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Henry Fielding

Tue, 04/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jane Wagner

Tue, 04/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself."
Categories: Fun Stuff

G. K. Chesterton

Tue, 04/19/2016 - 7:00pm
"Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Marvin Minsky

Mon, 04/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way."
Categories: Fun Stuff

David Sedaris

Mon, 04/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Carl Jung

Mon, 04/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Joseph Heller

Mon, 04/18/2016 - 7:00pm
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."
Categories: Fun Stuff