Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 2 min ago
"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
"Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops."
"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."
"There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class."
"I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know."
"I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street."
"A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to."
"A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight. "
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."