Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 5 hours 15 min ago

Mitch Hedberg

Tue, 04/14/2015 - 7:00pm
"I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Frost

Tue, 04/14/2015 - 7:00pm
"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jane Austen

Tue, 04/14/2015 - 7:00pm
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Tue, 04/14/2015 - 7:00pm
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Evan Esar

Mon, 04/13/2015 - 7:00pm
"Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frantz Fanon

Mon, 04/13/2015 - 7:00pm
"Fervor is the weapon of choice for the impotent."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Charles Caleb Colton

Mon, 04/13/2015 - 7:00pm
"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Hector Berlioz

Mon, 04/13/2015 - 7:00pm
"Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John F. Kennedy

Sun, 04/12/2015 - 7:00pm
"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Friedrich von Schiller

Sun, 04/12/2015 - 7:00pm
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Wilde

Sun, 04/12/2015 - 7:00pm
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Thomas Szasz

Sun, 04/12/2015 - 7:00pm
"Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Billy Crystal

Sat, 04/11/2015 - 7:00pm
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Don Marquis

Sat, 04/11/2015 - 7:00pm
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Douglas Adams

Sat, 04/11/2015 - 7:00pm
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Marilyn Monroe

Sat, 04/11/2015 - 7:00pm
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Copeland

Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:00pm
"To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Peter Ustinov

Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:00pm
"I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:00pm
"A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Bakker

Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:00pm
"I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS."
Categories: Fun Stuff