Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 7 hours 43 min ago

John Billings(Henry Wheeler Shaw)

Wed, 11/19/2014 - 6:00pm
"When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wed, 11/19/2014 - 6:00pm
"Civilization is the process of reducing the infinite to the finite."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Donald H. Rumsfeld

Wed, 11/19/2014 - 6:00pm
"If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Rogers

Wed, 11/19/2014 - 6:00pm
"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Randy K. Milholland

Tue, 11/18/2014 - 6:00pm
"Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Tue, 11/18/2014 - 6:00pm
"Man is tormented by no greater anxiety than to find someone quickly to whom he can hand over that great gift of freedom with which the ill-fated creature is born."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Margot Asquith

Tue, 11/18/2014 - 6:00pm
"What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Wilde

Tue, 11/18/2014 - 6:00pm
"I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bertrand Russell

Mon, 11/17/2014 - 6:00pm
"A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Samuel Goldwyn

Mon, 11/17/2014 - 6:00pm
"Television has raised writing to a new low."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dale Carnegie

Mon, 11/17/2014 - 6:00pm
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jewish Proverb

Mon, 11/17/2014 - 6:00pm
"If God lived on earth, people would break his windows."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fran Lebowitz

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 6:00pm
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bill Watterson

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 6:00pm
"Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Anton Wilson

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 6:00pm
"Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frank Moore Colby

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 6:00pm
"Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 6:00pm
"Here's a tip to avoid death by celebrity: First off, get a life. They can't touch you if you're out doing something interesting."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Leon Trotsky

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 6:00pm
"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Doug Larson

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 6:00pm
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Joseph Stalin

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 6:00pm
"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
Categories: Fun Stuff