Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 9 hours 29 min ago
"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."
"The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it."
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
"All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway."
"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."
"That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you."
"Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes."
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."
"One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."
"Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology."
"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."