Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 11 hours 19 min ago

George Burns

Tue, 06/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Bernard Shaw

Tue, 06/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"Hell is full of musical amateurs."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Frost

Tue, 06/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Cuppy

Tue, 06/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."
Categories: Fun Stuff

P. J. O'Rourke

Mon, 06/22/2015 - 7:00pm
"Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Aesop

Mon, 06/22/2015 - 7:00pm
"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Johnny Carson

Mon, 06/22/2015 - 7:00pm
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Emile Coue

Mon, 06/22/2015 - 7:00pm
"Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sir Winston Churchill

Sun, 06/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents."
Categories: Fun Stuff

T. S. Eliot

Sun, 06/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"Humor is also a way of saying something serious."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ernest Hemingway

Sun, 06/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"Never confuse movement with action."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Leslie Nielsen

Sun, 06/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Halifax

Sat, 06/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Nothing has an uglier look to us than reason, when it is not on our side."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Cyra McFadden

Sat, 06/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Samuel Johnson

Sat, 06/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Benchley

Sat, 06/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did."
Categories: Fun Stuff